Universal Epic Universe, Orlando

Parking is easy and then you walk over to the entrance. Celestial Park is the land where you enter. It has an outer space, steam punk theme with gorgeous constellations and astronomy designs. The Chronos entrance gate stretches to the sky. A fountain-style splash pad called Astronomica for kids lets them cool off, though it's in the wide open walkway so not very cozy. Cosmos is the huge fountain on the north end- sit here on the giant relaxing peaceful steps at 7pm or 7:30pm to watch a lovely show of lights and fountains shooting to the sky. This whole land is beautiful at sunset. Avoid Stardust Racers rollercoaster, which makes you hit your head repeatedly. It is fun to watch it though, from directly below, in front of the tunnel, as it has a linear accelerator through the tunnel that then shifts 90 degrees to straight up. The Constellation Carousel is not really a carousel, in that you don't sit on carousel horses but in larger ride vehicles, and it didn't really look that magical, even at night. It didn't look worth the long queue to me. Walk inside Pizza Moon Cafe to see the magical blue-hued decor. Meteor Astropub has burgers. Plastered Owl Pub has live musicians starting around 11am.
How to Train Your Dragon- Isle of Berk is the first land to your right when you enter the park. It is my favorite! Towering figures stretch to the sky. Be there at sunset for sure. See it at night as well, as the figures are lit up with giant torches. Isle of Berk's most beautiful feature is its lagoon, with crystal clear water, and so many lovely sights like viking boats. The land is full of fair rides, such as Dragon Racer's Rally, which swings you high in the sky like a pirate ship ride; Fyredrill, a littie ride down in a corner of the lagoon that takes you on a track in viking boats- you can shoot water guns and get very wet: and Hiccup's Wing Glider's, a very fun rollercoaster with a linear accelerator. Viking Training Camp is a beautiful kid's playground with rope climbies and different levels you can explore way up high. Very fun! Go inside Mead Hall at night, the hall up the stairs, with the two flames on each side, to see the artwork inside. Vikings might greet you! The most important thing to do in Isle of Berk is the show, The Untrainable Dragon! This is the only show you should go to at Epic Universe. It is absolutely awesome. The wait area is pleasant, outside in the fresh air with some shade. And the seating is comfortable, in rows far enough apart from the next. The show is wonderful, with an actor flying a dragon above you. Also, fun to see are the various dragons throughout the park. Some are hidden very well. One is sleeping, and you see its body rise and fall with deep breaths! One of the dragons is on your right as you walk to The Untrainable Dragon show- he has icicles around him. Watch him for a while and he'll suddenly shoot mist all around!
The Wizarding World of Harry Potter- Ministry of Magic is the next land if you go counter-clockwise. This is a beautiful rendition of Paris in the 1920s! The mural as you enter is very French. You can browse beautiful shops full of magical items. This land is very crowded, so come early in the day. A lady dressed as a flapper walks around greeting guests with a French accent. This land is themed after Fantastic Beasts, the Harry Potter prequel movie. You can walk into the crowded wand shop. Outside the shop, you might be lucky and catch a Jazzy performance by a dancing trio playing trombone, percussion, clarinet, and trumpet. Harry Potter and the Battle at the Ministry is a kuka arm ride, a bit jerky and vomitous. Some people stand in the line to see the gorgeous Paris metro and Harry Potter theming. The line was too long for us to attempt. Le Gobelet Noir is the best place to eat in the park! Here, you order via an app at your table. If the app doesn't work, remember your table number and order at the counter, telling them your app didn't work. There are many delicious options (bratwurst sandwich, beef goulash) at this restaurant, and its super fun to sit in the amazing theming with Celtic/medieval music playing. We skipped Sirene which is a fancy restaurant with waiters in suits, and vegan food.
One thing in this land that is the bane of this entire theme park is Le Cirque Arcanus, a show. Avoid it like the plague! If you go in it, you will surely get the plague, which I can confirm as I sit here horribly ill, still, fourteen days later. First, you line up in the tent, which looks very promising, since the tent is in Parisian circus style. Then you enter a room where you stand for almost half an hour, with your already tired legs. To make it much worse, they slowly crowd more and more people into this room. They keep telling you to step forward so that more people can fit. Believe me, more people can NOT fit. You have stepped forward as much as you can. More and more people are squeezed in, to the point where you can't believe they are doing this. You feel utterly helpless as you stand there. Children cry. The air becomes thick with everyone's exhaled breaths. If you are short, you really can't breathe. People, strangers, are literally so close to you that you can't move. You are squeezed more. If anyone panics, you will get trampled. After you can't believe they have made you wait this long in these conditions, they then proceed to show you the show, right there, while you are still standing! All cramped up! And it's the most stupid show ever, with people in the most boring brown work-clothes costumes. How on earth was this every created? After this ridiculous introduction, going on much longer than you can believe, they then finally allow you into the theater, to continue to watch the boring show which has nothing to do with Paris or the circus, but just has some actors from Fantastic Beasts talking incessantly. The experience going to this show turned me off every going to a theme park again. And then sure enough, I got sick with a horrible flu that ruined the rest of my trip and turned into a sinus infection on the airplane that is still making me very sick.
Between Harry Potter land and Dark Universe land, there is a Universal hotel, Helios Grand Hotel, in the middle of the park. To the left of it (if facing it), hidden, are the most quiet, empty, and clean restrooms in the park! If you are lucky enough to stay at this hotel, you get into the park one hour early.
Dark Universe is the next land if you go counter-clockwise. It is a small land but absolutely amazing in theming from the minute you walk through its gate! I loved this land! It has a spooky Frankenstein theme, with a gorgeous gothic stone castle towering to the night sky. There is mist and steampunk mad-science elements. Shadowy wooded corners add to the effect, and lightning sizzles from the tower. The music is wonderful. Take it all in! Monsters Unchained is one of the best rides in the park. What's great too is that you hardly have to wait in line! The queue has wonderful theming- stand in it even if you don't ride- it is one of the best things about the ride. Curse of the Werewolf is a rollercoaster whose vehicles spin slightly and you can hear lots of screaming as it careens through the park above you. Burning Blade is a small bar in a wooded corner with a spinning windmill that becomes lit with fire occasionally. Das Stakehaus is a restaurant where you order at your table with the app, or at the counter with your table number. We ordered a lobotomy dessert that was slippery-feeling and terrifying! The decor inside is amazing, with chairs decorated with bats.
Super Nintendo World is the last world in the counter-clockwise circle. It is bright, loud, incredibly crowded, and dinging with Super Mario Bros coin sounds! It is definitely fun to see. The best time to come is during dinnertime when people are busy eating, but it is always crowded. Don't go straight to Super Nintendo World in the morning because the lines are too long and you will waste your precious morning hours there. Yoshi's Adventure is a tame kid's ride where you sit in a vehicle (see info about germy ride vehicle below) and move through an indoor world and above the land past Princess Peach's Castle (nice at night). It's pretty, and the wait area is fairytale pretty too. It cheers you up, in a similar way to It's a Small World.
Mario Kart: Bowser's Challenge is a beautiful ride through rooms such as a spooky mansion or a sky filled with puffy clouds. It would be fun but the queue is too long. If you go there first thing in the morning, there are already thousands of people in the line, people who stayed at Helios Grand Hotel and got there an hour earlier. Two hours is too long a wait for anything! The line area is not themed in an interesting way until the end, making it that much more excruciating. The frustrating thing is that after you've waited that long, they spit you out into a huge room where everyone cuts in line in front of you! It is crazy. You grab headsets. First you put the headset around your head, then when you get in the ride vehicle you attach the magnetic augmented reality eyeglasses part. This allows you to see extra images on top of what you already see in the ride. There's plenty to see if you don't wear the headset too. The worst thing about the ride vehicle is that there's a semi-globe wedged between your legs. I can imagine if you don't see it you could really hurt yourself upon sitting down. It is right up against your crotch, touching your entire inner thighs. The rest of the day I just wanted to have a shower after this. Definitely wear long pants, not a skirt, if you are riding this ride. Yoshi's Adventure has the same type of semi-globe between your legs, but not quite as close.
Toadstool Cafe is nice to peek into for its theming. Check out also the Donkey Kong Country area, with its tropical theming. It brings up fun 1980s memories of playing the game in your childhood. There is a river that roars through this area. Mine-Cart Madness takes up most of the space, which is a shame because you don't really want to stay a while. Mine-Cart Madness is a terribly bumpy ride with a ride vehicle that will really rearrange your spine. Not recommended.
Overall, Epic Universe is an incredibly beautiful theme park to visit, and can be a fun day, if you know which parts to avoid. I hope you enjoy it!
Go to theme parks on the last day of your trip. That way, if you get "Disney flu," you won't ruin the rest of your trip that you flew all that way to enjoy.

Universal Epic Universe, Orlando

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